The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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