Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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