would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
