All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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