im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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