i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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