Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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