Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
