I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
