you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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