Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
