I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
