LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
