I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
