Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
