Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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