help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
