I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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