i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
