so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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