i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
