We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
