My Higher Power is John Stamos
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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