how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want a musical about memes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
