Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
