thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
