I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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