I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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