i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
