WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
