I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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