you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
