my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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