That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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