in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
