Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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