just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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