i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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