her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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