So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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