i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
