she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need water and some morals
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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