i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
