You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
