Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
