We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
