i think my mom watched the whole time
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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