I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
