Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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