all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
