Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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