dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
