yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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