Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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