He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
True strength comes from lack of pants
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
