We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
