i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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