I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
