And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
